Dating as a process, not a result
Dating as a process, not a result
Blog Article
Dating as a process, not a result
Today, the word "dating" has become something commonplace. It no longer causes either embarrassment or surprise. Everyone has encountered it one way or another - some out of curiosity, some out of necessity, some out of habit. But here's what's interesting: in a world where dating has become more accessible than ever, truly deep connections seem to be becoming fewer.
We look for love through interfaces. We scroll through profiles on the site https://www.sofiadate.com/dating-advice/what-is-closure-in-a-relationship, like a catalog, put hearts, write "hello". Everything seems to be correct. But why does it all end in nothing so often?
We are not looking for people, but for confirmation
To be honest, many of us go to dating not for a person, but for confirmation of our value. We crave to be chosen. For someone to say: "I like you." To feel that we are interesting, that we are not an empty space in the crowd. And each match is a small injection of recognition.
But the thing is that real relationships are not built on "passed the casting - well done". They are built on vulnerability. On honesty. And this takes time. And internal resources.
And what does dating do? It often... takes away this resource.
Digital overload
Five dialogues at the same time. Three dates a week. Texting at night. Texting in the morning. Answering, getting involved, maintaining interest. All this turns into a burden. Sometimes unnoticeable. Sometimes obvious. And at some point you understand: you are no longer in this process. There is automatism. There is politeness. There is a desire to "close the goal". But there is no you - alive, real, included.
And without you - dating is meaningless.
Someone disappears - and you doubt again
In the world of swipes, it is too easy to disappear. One day — correspondence, the second — silence, the third — a deleted profile. This is called ghosting. And everyone who has been in dating for more than two weeks has encountered it. It is discouraging. Not because “it hurts” (although it does hurt too), but because it casts doubt on your reality. Was this contact real? Or did you make it up?
This erodes trust. And with each new disappearance, you want to close yourself off. Stop believing. And that means stop opening up. And if you don’t open up, then there will be no real connection. It’s a vicious circle.
How to get out of it?
Acknowledge that dating is not a search for love. It’s a path to yourself. If you don’t know who you are, what you want, and how good you feel, no profile will give you the right person.
Clear the noise. No need for dozens of dialogues. One is better — but a live one.
Treat others as people, not items on a list. They also have a heart, fears, a past, hopes.
Don't use dating as an escape from loneliness. Loneliness is not an enemy. It is a space where you can return to yourself. And only from this point are real relationships possible.
Give yourself the right to be tired. Tired? Take a break. You will return when you want. Love will not disappear. It will not be taken away. It does not go away forever.
And the last thing is simple
Dating should not be hard. It should not cause anxiety. It should not destroy faith in people. If it does, stop. Return to the point of peace. Start with yourself. Think: what do you want to be with another person? What are you like in love? Who are you outside of dialogues and meetings?
And only when you answer this honestly, dating will stop being a game of coincidences. It will become a living process in which you do not lose yourself, but find yourself.
And someone will one day meet you exactly like this - not ideal, not convenient, not "according to the profile". A - real. And at that moment the whole path, with all its phrases, silences and disappointments, will acquire meaning.